Getting over the past

I read this quote today on Facebook.

"When we don't release our past the only thing in captivity is our future."

Sometimes I can be such a headcase. I let mistakes stick with me much longer than I need to. I'm haunted by them. They are my greatest enemy, not the market, not the market makers, or the "manipulators" or ISIS or Russia or whatever. 

I give these mistakes power, because I refuse to let them go. I stew over them again and again and again. I walk throughout my house muttering to my wife how stupid I am because I let so and so run against me too long, OR I cut this winner WAY too short. 

I'm harassed by them.

Obviously, this behavior has a terribly negative effect on my returns.

Here's a perfect example...

Going into the most recent market downturn I was in a SPY bear call spread and a QQQ bear call spread. I was PERFECTLY positioned for once. As you remember the SPY started turning over the last couple days of July. My SPY call spread was doing great... however, for fear that the drop wouldn't last I closed the position booking a $180 profit. Now keep in mind I had a $500 credit on this play so I booked less than 40% of it. Turns out the drop would continue.

Man this bothered the HELL out of me. I stewed on this big time as I watched the SPY drop all the way to 191. I left about $275 on the table! I HATE leaving money on the table!! HATE IT!

Now remember I was also in a QQQ bear call spread. I had a $500 credit on this play as well. At one point I was up $250, but since I was so PISSED about the SPY play I told myself there was NO WAY I was closing the QQQ position. I would NOT leave anymore money on the table. Well guess what, the QQQ's bottomed around 93.80 and started working back up. I missed my chance to book a profit. So instead I was faced with an ITM spread come expiration. I ended up rolling the QQQ spread to September, but it just delayed AND compounded the inevitable loss coming my way. So I let a $200 winner turn into a potential $1,000 loser. 


Because I was so angry about cutting that SPY winner short! I didn't release myself from that misstep and it seriously hurt my future returns. 

Any of you folks do this stupid crap? 

(Note :: As I re-read this I'm seeing the words "angry", "pissed", and "hate". Emotions people! I've got to keep my emotions in CHECK!)